Return of The Mount Hua – Chapter 1175. This yangban can't even give an answer (5)
Editor: Hoamzz
Co-Translator: Xoxo
It was an unexpected remark. At least from Chung Myung's perspective. He could only tilt his head and look at Baek Cheon, puzzled.
"What are you saying? Of course, I'm human."
“There are times when it doesn’t seem so.”
"Are you insulting me right now?"
Baek Cheon chuckled.
'It might sound strange.'
They both knew.
Chung Myung was far from perfect. As a person, he was full of flaws.
His personality was rough, he was stubborn, and his confidence in himself was often excessive, which sometimes leads to mistakes. He knew what he knew well, but in areas he didn’t understand, he could be shockingly ignorant. When pushing someone, he never showed mercy, and he didn’t know how to acknowledge anything that went against his own beliefs.
That is why Chung Myung would not be able to understand what Baek Cheon was saying. However, Baek Cheon’s position was completely different.
With such flaws, does that mean Chung Myung is not a perfect human being? Baek Cheon didn't think so.
Yes, Chung Myung had a dirty temper, but he didn't make enemies because of that temper. He was ignorant in some areas, but because of that, he perfectly entrusted what he couldn’t do to others and trusted them fully. He might push people too hard, but no one ever gave up or turned away because of it.
He didn’t accept things that went against his beliefs, but in the end, he proved that he was right. He wasn’t perfect, but in the end, the result was perfect. So isn't the person called Chung Myung, who ultimately brings about that result, also perfect? Even if it didn’t fit the world’s typical definition of perfection?
That's why it was sometimes exhausting. Chasing that perfection. But....
"I just had that thought. That you’re human, too."
"Don’t be ridiculous."
Chung Myung didn't ask any more questions. Baek Cheon grabbed the bottle of alcohol that Chung Myung had put down and drank it again. Chung Myung looked at him in disbelief and asked.
"What’s gotten into you? You don’t usually drink."
"There are days like this."
"They say people die when they do things they don’t normally do..."
Chung Myung, who had been joking around without a second thought, stopped talking and closed his mouth as if he was worried about something. Baek Cheon, who had his eyes slightly twitched, answered as if it was nothing.
“Don’t worry. I’ll outlive you.”
“…Maybe.”
Baek Cheon glanced at Chung Myung's complexion.
Perhaps Chung Myung didn’t even realize what he’d just said. It might’ve just been a casual response, something to fill the silence.
But it’s during such moments that one’s true feelings slip out. A few years ago, Chung Myung would never have brushed off such a comment with a simple, vague affirmation.
Baek Cheon had forgotten. No, it might be more accurate to say he ignored it.
Chung Myung is by no means a perfect person. No, even if he were a perfect person, he wasn’t omnipotent. As a human being, he has limitations, and in the end, there are things he cannot handle alone.
'I had no choice but to forget.'
Every time it seemed like Chung Myung wouldn’t be able to handle something, that bastard always proved everyone wrong.
But Baek Cheon had to remember.
Just because someone could bear a heavy burden didn’t mean it wasn’t overwhelming. No amount of training makes hardship disappear, and just because someone has been cut by a blade many times doesn’t mean it stops hurting.
No matter how much you heal, scars remain, and the memory of suffering doesn’t fade.
He had to remember. Even if no one else did, Baek Cheon had to. Since Baek Cheon remained silent, Cheong Myeong asked.
“Aren’t you going to ask?”
"About what?"
“Isn’t that what you came here for?”
"What do you mean?"
Chung Myung looks at Baek Cheon with eyes that say he doesn't understand.
"Weren’t you going to ask what answer I’ll give that damned bald bastard?"
“Mot curious.”
"…Huh?"
“I’m not curious.”
Baek Cheon replied indifferently and took a swig from the bottle. Chung Myung furrowed his brow.
"You’re not curious?"
Baek Cheon said with a look of obvious annoyance on his face.
"Whether I hear the answer now or later, it won’t change anything. So what’s the point in asking first?"
“No, you could try to persuade me.”
“If I persuade you, will you listen?”
“I won’t.”
“So why would I try to persuade?”
“Now that you mention it?”
Chung Myung nodded with an enlightened expression. Then he tilted his head again, even more puzzled.
“Then why did you come?”
"...Isn’t it funny?"
"What?"
“I am your Sasuk, and you are my Sajil. We have been seeing each other every day for several years in the same sect.”
“…Why is that?”
“But why do I need a reason or motive to sit next to you and drink together?”
Chung Myung stared at Baek Cheon with a suspicious expression. It seemed as if he was trying to figure out what his intentions were. Deep down, he appeared slightly flustered, as if he’d never heard such a statement before.
But Baek Cheon was just indifferent.
“Just drink, what reason do you need?”
He pointed with his finger at the half-covered moon.
"Look at that. The moon is beautiful."
"It looks pretty gloomy?”
“That’s beautiful.”
“…Sasuk. Did you eat something bad at dinner?"
Baek Cheon smiled softly.
It was a strange disconnect that had shaken him, something he had never noticed before—or perhaps never had reason to notice.
He couldn’t even remember the last time they had a casual conversation like this. Actually, he wasn’t even sure if they ever had.
“No, why did you come then?”
"Sighh..."
Baek Cheon slightly distorted his face as if annoyed.
"You were sitting alone, sulking at the moon like some pitiful kid, so I felt bad and came over. I’m your elder, after all."
"...Did you really eat something bad? You know you’ll regret it if you get hit, right?"
"You hit me all the time anyway, you jerk."
“That’s true.”
Chung Myung looked at Baek Cheon with a look of bewilderment, then glanced towards the moon.
"Here."
Baek Cheon handed over the bottle of liquor.
Chung Myung stared at it for a moment before slowly accepting it with his hands. Then, he slowly tilted it to his lips.
After watching the moon in silence for a while, Baek Cheon finally spoke again.
"However…."
"You said you weren’t going to ask."
“I’m not asking. I’m just curious.”
"Seriously, did you leave your mind behind today? We call that ‘asking’!"
Baek Cheon waved his hand dismissively and asked.
"Why do you go so far?"
"Huh?"
“I know the reason. More or less. I know what you're afraid of. But... that's something the whole world has to bear, not just you alone."
“….”
"Even if what you're worried about really happens, no one in the world would blame you. So why are you acting like it's all your burden to bear?"
That question made Chung Myung chuckle. However, the faint smile that had been on his face gradually disappeared.
"…..Well."
He had always thought these were the things he had to do, of course.
But is that really true?
In the past, Chung Myung had done his best. While his methods might not have been perfect, no one could deny that his actions had ultimately saved the world.
But why is he now carrying all of this, as Baek Cheon said, as if he had committed some sin? Even if he were to lie down and say, "I've done enough, the rest is up to you", no one would point fingers at him.
Even if Cheong Mun were watching, he wouldn’t condemn him for it...
"Well…."
Chung Myung, who repeated his word again, quickly picked up his words and pieced together a response.
"I don’t really know either. Why I'm doing all this."
“…Is that so?”
"Just, uh... it seems that way."
Baek Cheon silently stared at Chung Myung's side profile. And then he thought. It's that face again. Those gazes looking into the distance.
"There's no one else to do it, right? If not me."
“….”
“Just, well…. Uhm.”
Chung Myung scratched his head.
“Actually, I’m not a very responsible person, and I’m not the type of person who enjoys leading people. I'm just the type of person who does nothing and complains about what others are doing, you know? and then drinks when I have free time."
“What a trash.”
“….”
Chung Myung, who was speechless for a moment, shook his head.
It wasn’t just talk. In the past, Chung Myung really was like that. In the peaceful world before the rise of Magyo, Chung Myung was the most idle bum with nothing to do in Mount Hua.
That was also the most comfortable and enjoyable time in his life.
So how did things come to this?
"Anyway, it's not like I want to be doing all of this."
“Then you don’t have to.”
“But it's not that simple."
"Why?"
"There's no one else."
Chung Myung sighed, his expression indifferent.
"If I don't do it, no one will. If I throw it all away, no one will step in to take over, and there's no one who can do it as well as I can."
“….”
“If I give up and say I won’t do it, everything will fall apart—it's obvious. But it's not easy to just sit back and watch that happen."
“….”
“As time went on, the number of things I had to do just kept increasing.”
If there had been more time, maybe even now, sometimes, he could still enjoy life at Mount Hua. Laughing and messing around with his Sahyungje, teasing one another, filling the days with camaraderie.
But who could he blame for the lack of that time?
"Not that I expect someone to take my place, either. This is just something I have to handle."
Because the people who should replace him are no longer here.
Chung Myung believed this.
Maybe, because he hadn't shared the weight he should have in the past, now he had to bear it all alone.
If that's the case, then this burden was naturally his to accept and endure.
“So don’t worry about unnecessary things. If I do everything I can and it still doesn't work out, I'll just throw it all away. It's just that I don't feel like I've done enough yet."
As he rambled, Chung Myung realized he might have said more than he intended. He awkwardly cleared his throat.
“Tsk. I must’ve lost it, too. I'm talking about this to Dongryong."
"You’re gonna die, seriously."
Chung Myung snickered and took another sip of his drink. He gulped down his usual amount and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. His expression brightened a little, and his voice lifted a bit.
"Don't worry. I'll be fine soon."
"Huh?"
“That’s just how people live. There's just a lot on my mind right now."
“….”
"After a day or so, things will clear up and I'll go back to my usual self. It's a hundred years early to start worrying about me, Dongryong."
“Bullshit.”
Baek Cheon chuckled.
A brief silence settled between them—not too heavy, just quiet and peaceful.
Baek Cheon, who was staring blankly at not the moon, the night sky, or the clouds, but something beyond it, slowly opened his mouth.
“If I… No, if we were a little stronger. If we were, would it have made the things you're worrying about a little easier?"
Between the two who did not look at each other, the quiet voice lingered for a long time....
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